In my 20 years in the funeral industry, I've sat with thousands of families across Texas. I’ve learned that the sharpest grief often comes not from death itself, but from the weight of unspoken words and undone deeds. It has taught me a profound lesson: a well-planned end begins with a well-lived life. The question of ‘what to do before you die’ isn't about a frantic bucket list; it's about intentional living.
It’s about creating a life so rich with purpose and connection that your final arrangements become a natural extension of that legacy, rather than an abrupt, regretful task. This list isn't just about grand adventures or ticking boxes. It’s a curated collection of experiences, some external and some deeply internal, that I have seen contribute to a genuine sense of peace and completeness for the people I serve.
We’ll cover everything from solo travel and learning a new language to healing old wounds and mastering a creative skill. Each item is designed to offer a fresh perspective on a common life goal, with practical steps to get started. My hope is that this guide helps you build a life with fewer regrets, because I believe the best way to prepare for death is to fully embrace living.
1. Travel to a Foreign Country Solo
Over my 20 years in the funeral industry, I've seen that life’s most profound moments often come from pushing our own boundaries. One of the most transformative things to do before you die is to journey to a foreign country completely on your own. This isn't just a vacation; it's a deep dive into self-reliance, forcing you to navigate unfamiliar cultures, languages, and challenges without a companion. It’s an experience that builds a unique confidence that very few other activities can replicate.
How to Embrace the Journey
Successfully traveling solo is about preparation and mindset. It’s less about a rigid itinerary and more about creating a framework for safe, independent exploration.
- Start Smart: Choose a destination with a reputation for safety and strong tourism infrastructure. Countries like Japan, New Zealand, or Portugal are excellent starting points.
- Build Connections: Use hostels, co-living spaces, or apps like Meetup to connect with other travelers and locals. This provides social interaction without sacrificing your independence.
- Stay Informed and Safe: Thoroughly research local customs and safety protocols before you go. For those considering the empowering experience of venturing abroad independently, our guide offers essential tips for solo travel in Australia, a continent renowned for its unique adventures.
The following bar chart visualizes the ease of travel for beginners in three popular solo destinations, based on factors like safety, infrastructure, and English proficiency.
The chart highlights Japan as a top-tier choice for first-time solo travelers due to its exceptional safety and efficient public transport, followed closely by New Zealand and Portugal.
2. Learn a New Language to Conversational Fluency
In my years of helping families, I've noticed that connection is what truly defines a life well-lived. One of the most powerful ways to forge new connections is to learn another language to conversational fluency. This isn't just about memorizing vocabulary; it's about rewiring your brain and opening your heart to an entirely different culture. It’s an intellectual challenge that pays profound emotional dividends, allowing you to understand people and perspectives in a way that translation alone never can. This endeavor builds not just a skill, but a deeper empathy for the world.
How to Embrace the Journey
Achieving conversational fluency is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires consistent effort and a smart approach focused on practical communication rather than perfect grammar from day one.
- Focus on High-Frequency Words: Start by mastering the most common 1,000 words. This vocabulary foundation covers roughly 80% of everyday conversations, giving you a functional base to build upon quickly.
- Practice Daily: Consistency is more important than intensity. Dedicate just 15-20 minutes every day to active practice, whether through apps, flashcards, or speaking with a partner. This habit makes learning manageable and effective.
- Immerse Yourself: You don’t have to move abroad to create an immersive environment. Change the language settings on your phone, watch TV shows in your target language with subtitles, and listen to foreign music. For more structured learning, the Duolingo app offers a great starting point with its gamified lessons.
- Find a Speaking Partner: True fluency comes from conversation. Use apps like Tandem or HelloTalk to connect with native speakers who want to learn your language. Don't fear making mistakes; they are essential for progress.
3. Witness One of the Natural Wonders of the World
In my work helping families navigate loss, I am often reminded of how important it is to create moments of true wonder. Witnessing one of Earth’s natural wonders is a profound experience that recalibrates our sense of time and scale. Standing before a phenomenon like the Grand Canyon or the Northern Lights provides a powerful perspective, reminding us of our small but meaningful place in a vast, ancient, and beautiful world. It's an essential item on any list of what to do before you die.
This connection to the planet inspires many to consider their own environmental legacy. It’s one reason we see more families choosing eco-friendly end-of-life options, seeking to honor a life lived in appreciation of nature. You can explore more about these meaningful farewells to understand this growing desire for a gentle return to the earth.
How to Embrace the Journey
Planning a trip to a natural wonder is about more than just booking a flight; it’s about preparing to fully immerse yourself in the experience with respect and foresight.
- Plan for the Elements: Research the optimal seasons for your destination. Whether it’s catching the Aurora Borealis during the peak winter months or seeing Victoria Falls at its most powerful, timing is everything. Always have a backup plan in case of bad weather.
- Book Smart: Popular wonders require booking accommodations and tours far in advance. For a deeper, more informed experience, consider hiring a local guide who can share insights you won't find in a brochure. When planning to witness one of the natural wonders of the world, exploring options like these offers invaluable guidance: the top ways to experience the natural wonders of Tasmania.
- Travel Responsibly: Practice Leave No Trace principles to protect these fragile environments. Arrive early in the morning or stay late in the evening to avoid the largest crowds and capture the best light for photos and quiet reflection.
4. Make Peace with an Estranged Family Member or Friend
In my two decades of helping families navigate loss, I've witnessed firsthand how unresolved conflicts can linger and compound grief. One of the most courageous and healing things to do before you die is to make peace with an estranged family member or friend. This isn’t about winning an old argument; it's an act of profound vulnerability and strength aimed at mending a broken connection. Choosing to reach out, even without a guarantee of reciprocation, can lift an immense emotional weight and bring a sense of closure that is truly priceless.
How to Embrace the Journey
Reconciliation is a delicate process that requires introspection and a gentle approach. The goal is to open a door for communication, not to force an outcome.
- Prepare Emotionally: Before reaching out, take time to reflect on your role in the conflict. Acknowledging your own part, even if it's small, is a crucial first step. It's often helpful to process these feelings with a therapist or counselor.
- Start with a Simple Message: A non-confrontational text or email expressing a simple desire to talk can be less intimidating than a phone call. Something like, "I've been thinking about you and would love to reconnect when you have a moment," can be effective.
- Listen More Than You Speak: If you do meet, focus on hearing their perspective without preparing a defense. Use "I" statements to express your feelings instead of making accusations. The goal is understanding, not blame.
Attempting to mend these relationships is not just about emotional healing; it's also a practical step. Having these conversations can make difficult future discussions, such as end-of-life wishes, far easier. For guidance, our team has put together a resource on how to talk to family about your funeral plans.
5. Master a Creative Skill (Music, Art, Writing, or Craft)
In my two decades of guiding families, I've noticed that a life filled with purpose often involves creation. Dedicating yourself to mastering a creative skill is one of the most rewarding things to do before you die. It’s a journey from novice to practitioner, whether in painting, writing, woodworking, or music. This pursuit teaches discipline and patience, but more importantly, it offers a powerful outlet for self-expression and leaves behind tangible pieces of your spirit for others to cherish.
How to Embrace the Journey
The path to mastery is built on consistent, focused effort, not just innate talent. It’s about committing to growth and finding joy in the process itself.
- Practice with Purpose: Focus on deliberate practice aimed at improvement, not just mindless repetition. Set small, specific goals for each session, like mastering a new chord or a particular brushstroke.
- Find a Mentor: Learning from someone skilled can accelerate your progress immensely. Seek out a teacher or join a local group to get constructive feedback and guidance.
- Embrace Imperfection: The creative process is messy. Give yourself permission to be a beginner and create imperfect work. As Bob Ross often reminded us, there are no mistakes, just "happy accidents."
- Create a Routine: Carve out dedicated time for your craft, even if it's just 15-20 minutes a day. Consistency is far more impactful than sporadic, lengthy sessions.
6. Perform an Act of Radical Generosity or Service
In my decades of helping families navigate loss, I've noticed that legacies are built not just on accomplishments but on contributions. Performing an act of radical generosity or service is a powerful thing to do before you die, as it shifts your focus entirely from yourself to the profound needs of others. This isn’t about a small, one-time donation; it’s about a significant commitment of your time, skills, or resources that requires genuine sacrifice. This kind of giving, seen in the work of figures like Jimmy Carter or MacKenzie Scott, creates meaning that outlasts us and transforms the giver as much as the recipient.
How to Give Meaningfully
Radical generosity is about making a deep, intentional impact. It’s a deliberate choice to use what you have to create systemic or personal change for others, ensuring your legacy is one of compassion and action.
- Align with Your Values: Identify a cause that genuinely moves you. Whether it’s global health, local housing, or youth education, your passion will sustain your commitment.
- Leverage Your Skills: The most impactful service often comes from using your professional expertise. A retired accountant can provide invaluable financial literacy training, just as a doctor can volunteer their skills in an underserved clinic.
- Listen First: True service starts with understanding what a community actually needs, not what you assume they need. Partner with established, reputable organizations that have deep roots in the communities they serve. This ensures your efforts are effective and respectful.
- Commit to the Long Haul: While any act of giving matters, radical generosity often involves sustained effort. Consider dedicating a significant period to a volunteer project or creating an ongoing financial commitment to a cause you believe in. This builds trust and creates lasting change.
7. Face and Overcome a Significant Personal Fear
In my two decades of helping families navigate loss, I've noticed a common thread among those who lived with fewer regrets: they didn't let fear dictate their lives. Facing a significant personal fear is one of the most powerful things to do before you die. This isn't about reckless abandon; it's about identifying a fear that has limited your world, whether it's public speaking, heights, or failure, and systematically working to overcome it. This process builds profound resilience and often reveals that the barrier was smaller than we imagined.
How to Embrace the Journey
Conquering a deep-seated fear is a deliberate process of courage and strategy. It's about taking small, manageable steps that expand your comfort zone over time, not diving into the deep end without support.
- Start with a Plan: Create a gradual exposure hierarchy. If you fear public speaking, start by speaking up in a small meeting, then join a group like Toastmasters, and build from there. The goal is incremental progress, not immediate mastery.
- Seek Support: You don't have to do it alone. Working with a therapist trained in exposure therapy or finding an accountability partner can provide the structure and encouragement needed for success.
- Focus on the "Why": Constantly remind yourself what you will gain by overcoming this fear: new opportunities, deeper connections, or a greater sense of freedom. As researcher Brené Brown teaches, vulnerability is the birthplace of courage. Understanding the cost of inaction can be a powerful motivator.
8. Create or Strengthen Deep, Vulnerable Friendships
In my two decades of helping families say goodbye, I’ve learned that a life well-lived is almost always a life filled with deep connections. When people reflect on what truly mattered, it’s rarely about achievements; it’s about the people they shared their lives with. Investing in profound, vulnerable friendships is one of the most rewarding things to do before you die, as these relationships provide the support, meaning, and joy that sustain us through both the good times and the inevitable hardships.
How to Embrace the Journey
Building true friendships requires intention and effort, moving beyond superficial chats to create bonds of trust and mutual understanding. This isn't about having a large social circle, but about cultivating a few relationships where you can be your authentic self.
- Schedule with Intention: Treat time with friends as a non-negotiable appointment. Whether it's a weekly call, a monthly dinner, or an annual trip, consistency is key to deepening any relationship.
- Practice Vulnerability: Reciprocity is the heart of a strong friendship. Start by sharing your own struggles and fears. This creates a safe space for others to do the same, fostering a powerful connection.
- Show Up When It Matters: True friendship is measured by presence during difficult times. A simple text, a shared meal, or just listening without judgment can mean the world. These are the moments that forge unbreakable bonds, the kind of connections often honored when families gather to plan a meaningful memorial. A heartfelt ceremony, for example, can become a powerful tribute to these very friendships. To better understand this process, we offer guidance on how to host a cremation ceremony that celebrates a life rich with connection.
9. Experience Childbirth or Deeply Participate in Raising a Child
Over my two decades in the funeral industry, I've seen firsthand how family shapes a person's legacy. One of the most profoundly life-altering things to do before you die is to participate in raising a child. This isn't just about biological parenthood; it’s about the transformative responsibility of guiding another human being. Whether as a parent, a foster carer, an adoptive parent, or a deeply involved mentor, this journey reorders your priorities, unearths a capacity for unconditional love you never knew you had, and connects you to the future in a powerful, humbling way.
How to Embrace the Journey
Nurturing a child is a permanent, life-changing commitment that requires immense preparation and an open heart. The goal isn’t perfection but connection, built on a foundation of stability and love.
- Build a Strong Foundation: Before bringing a child into your life, ensure your own emotional and financial stability. Work on your own unresolved issues and solidify your support network, as parenting is a journey best shared.
- Be Present, Not Perfect: Modern experts like Dr. Becky Kennedy emphasize that connection matters more than perfection. Your presence, attention, and vulnerability are the greatest gifts you can give a child.
- Focus on the Relationship: This commitment will test your patience and resolve. Remember that difficult phases pass. Focus on building a loving, respectful relationship rather than just managing behavior. This bond is what endures, and it's what truly matters when planning for life’s most significant moments. Helping families prepare for these realities is a core part of my work, and it starts with understanding what to do when a loved one passes away at home.
10. Complete a Major Physical Challenge or Athletic Goal
In my two decades of helping families navigate end-of-life planning, I've observed that some of the most fulfilled individuals are those who have tested their own physical and mental limits. Committing to a major physical challenge is one of the most powerful things to do before you die. It’s not about becoming a professional athlete; it’s about the profound personal growth that comes from pushing beyond what you thought was possible. This journey teaches discipline, resilience, and the value of incremental progress, lessons that enrich every other aspect of life.
How to Embrace the Journey
The key to achieving a significant athletic goal lies in smart planning and unwavering commitment, not just raw talent. It's about building a sustainable path to your personal summit.
- Define Your Summit: Choose a goal that is both challenging and meaningful to you. It could be running a marathon, climbing a notable peak, earning a black belt in a martial art, or completing a century bike ride. The goal should personally inspire you.
- Create a Structured Plan: Break your major goal into smaller, manageable steps. Work with a coach, join a training group, or use a trusted program to build a realistic timeline with incremental milestones.
- Integrate Mental and Physical Prep: Recognize that this is as much a mental game as a physical one. Mental preparation, like visualizing success and building resilience, is just as crucial as physical training. This type of forward-thinking and planning is also vital in other areas, as discussed in our guide on how to prepare for death, which emphasizes taking control of future events.
Top 10 Life Goals Comparison
| Item | Implementation Complexity | Resource Requirements | Expected Outcomes | Ideal Use Cases | Key Advantages |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Travel to a Foreign Country Solo | Moderate (planning, solo navigation) | Financial (travel, accommodation), time | Increased independence, cultural immersion | Experienced travelers seeking autonomy | Builds confidence, cultural exposure, personal growth |
| Learn a New Language to Conversational Fluency | High (months to years of consistent effort) | Time, courses, tutors, practice materials | Fluent communication, cognitive benefits | Career advancement, cultural connection | Enhances brain function, career, travel enrichment |
| Witness One of the Natural Wonders of the World | Moderate to high (travel, physical stamina) | Financial (travel, gear), time | Awe, environmental awareness, lasting memories | Nature lovers, photographers, adventurers | Inspires conservation, profound perspective |
| Make Peace with an Estranged Family Member or Friend | High (emotional vulnerability, communication) | Emotional energy, sometimes professional help | Emotional closure, possible relationship restoration | Those seeking healing, closure | Provides peace, emotional health, relationship repair |
| Master a Creative Skill (Music, Art, Writing, or Craft) | Very high (years of deliberate practice) | Time, materials, lessons | Artistic mastery, personal fulfillment | Aspiring artists, hobbyists, career changers | Creates legacy, flow states, emotional expression |
| Perform an Act of Radical Generosity or Service | Variable (from short-term to long-term) | Time, money, skills | Meaningful impact, personal transformation | Volunteers, philanthropists, community workers | Builds purpose, empathy, positive community change |
| Face and Overcome a Significant Personal Fear | High (emotional challenge, possible therapy) | Time, possibly financial (therapy) | Increased resilience, expanded comfort zone | People wanting personal growth and confidence | Reduces anxiety, expands life opportunities |
| Create or Strengthen Deep, Vulnerable Friendships | Moderate to high (time, emotional effort) | Time, emotional energy | Strong support system, increased happiness | Those seeking meaningful social connections | Improves health and wellbeing, reduces loneliness |
| Experience Childbirth or Deeply Participate in Raising a Child | Very high (lifelong commitment) | Financial, emotional, time | Deep fulfillment, family bonds, personal growth | Parents, guardians, mentors | Provides purpose, unconditional love, legacy |
| Complete a Major Physical Challenge or Athletic Goal | High (months/years of training) | Time, physical effort, sometimes financial | Improved fitness, mental toughness, achievement | Athletes, fitness enthusiasts | Builds discipline, resilience, physical health |
Living Intentionally is the Best Preparation
After reviewing a list like this, it’s easy to feel a mix of inspiration and pressure. It’s not about checking off every box or creating a frantic scramble to see and do everything. Over my two decades in the funeral industry, I’ve learned that the real theme connecting a fulfilling life and a peaceful end is intention. The common thread in all these experiences, from mastering a skill to mending a relationship, is the deliberate choice to engage deeply with the world and the people around you.
This list of what to do before you die isn’t a scorecard; it’s a collection of invitations. It invites you to be present, to challenge yourself, and to build a life rich with meaning and connection. Each item we discussed is a catalyst for personal growth, pushing you to step outside your comfort zone and discover new facets of yourself. Whether you’re learning a language or facing a fear, you are actively shaping the story of your life, one conscious decision at a time. This proactive engagement is what builds a legacy of purpose, not just a series of accomplishments.
That same spirit of intention is the most powerful tool you have when it comes to preparing for the inevitable. Pre-planning your final arrangements is often seen as a somber task, but I see it as one of the most profound acts of love you can perform. It’s a final, thoughtful gesture to protect your family from the burden of making difficult decisions during a time of grief. You are extending the same care and consideration you showed in life into the moments after you’re gone.
By making your wishes known, you remove ambiguity and potential conflict, allowing your loved ones to focus on healing and remembrance. It is the ultimate act of living intentionally. You are ensuring your legacy of care continues, providing comfort and clarity when it’s needed most. This thoughtful preparation is a direct reflection of a life lived with purpose. It transforms a practical necessity into a final, meaningful chapter of your story.
At Cremation.Green, we built our private, luxury crematory to honor lives lived with such purpose and intention. If you have questions about making your arrangements with the same thoughtful care, from understanding modern options like water cremation to simply knowing where to start, my team and I are here to provide clear, compassionate guidance. We believe a respectful conversation is the first step, and we are always here to help.
